You guys, 2017 got off to a rocky start for me. Our life has been busier than ever before, and although this pregnancy has been relatively NORMAL (knock on wood), it’s still considered high risk because of our previous losses. On top of this, I’ve been playing this mental game with myself. I’m struggling to keep up with all the moving pieces in our life, and I’ve been really DOWN on myself about it.
You see, before we had kids – and even when we just had Ricky – I used to be this uber organized working mom who has the memory of an elephant for everything going on in our life. Our life ran seamlessly, even when we were running by the seat of our pants. Bags were packed the night before. I easily got up at 5 AM to start working, and our household was still pulled together and we were out the door by 7:30. It was easy to plan workouts, be on top of things, and LOOK like the mom who had it all together.
But I just can’t keep up like that anymore. I’m struggling to get out the door on time in the morning. I feel like there’s always something I’m forgetting, like blankies for nap time at school, or my charger for my laptop when I’m out at client meetings all day. Important things, you know?
So I’ve gotten really down on myself. My husband commented to me early in December, that I’m actually TOO hard on myself. I manage a lot – we have a lot going on – and kids just make things more complicated. There’s so many more things to remember and plan for, and less “quiet time” for thinking (courtesy of my kiddos who talk about all the things, all the time, haha).
And yet, I still struggled with telling myself how I wasn’t doing enough. I felt like I was constantly failing at some aspect of my life – either I wasn’t dedicating enough time to work, or I wasn’t dedicating enough one-on-one time to my kids, or I wasn’t spending enough time cleaning the house…
Suddenly, all of my “not good enoughs” took over my life, and I spent every waking minute trying to spend more time doing all of these things. It took up all of my energy, and I wound up being so committed to everything else that I forgot about myself.
Over time, I realized that one of my biggest problems was simply that I wasn’t filling myself back up. I wasn’t LOVING myself – and by not giving back to ME, I had created a circular problem where I couldn’t GIVE to any of these things at my full capacity…because I wasn’t RUNNING at full capacity.
This realization was shocking to me. And since then, I’ve slowly been trying to set aside a little bit of time for myself every day. It’s helped, for sure. But it hasn’t been super consistent, and it hasn’t been super intentional. So I decided to run my February challenge group as a Love Yourself Challenge, so that I could really focus on being more intentional about loving myself, while also helping other women love THEMSELVES as well.
Preparing for this group has been eye opening to me. I’ve ready lots of articles and guides on how keeping your MINDSET positive and healthy can affect your sense of self-worth, your self-confidence, and how you pour into everyone around you.
It’s affected me so much that I want to focus my personal digital presence on how all of us can give back to ourselves with just a few minutes every day, and how we can carry that self-love throughout the whole year.
One of the things that’s really changed my outlook is the idea that I need to be KIND to myself. I’m human, I’m not perfect, and I’m going to make mistakes. But that doesn’t mean that I need to totally railroad my mindset because I didn’t do things perfectly.
This month, I challenge you to BE KINDER to yourself. This is a challenge that I issued to the women in my challenge group just this morning, but I think it’s SO IMPORTANT that we can all use this challenge in our lives! Every time you find yourself berating yourself, or talking down to yourself or criticizing yourself, I want you to STOP. Reevaluate what you’re saying. Instead of being negative, find a way to turn that to positive. Or just replace that negative thought all together with something positive!
Example: Instead of telling yourself, “I totally screwed up on that client meeting, I should have been more prepared and had been anticipating that they would have wanted x, y and z” – focus on the positive, and how you can deliver x, y, and z, this month – “It didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d hoped, but they LOVED my ideas for how we can drive x, y and z project forward this month!”
Or, instead of “I am the WORST MOM, I can’t believe I forgot the kids’ lunches AGAIN!” – “I am the BEST mom, my kids get to have hot lunch today, which is a total treat!”
And instead of standing in front of a mirror, criticizing everything you hate about yourself, focus on the things you LOVE. Start your day by telling yourself that you’re BEAUTIFUL. Tell yourself that you’re VALUED. Tell yourself all the things your family LOVES about you.
The last one has really started to help me get back into my go-getter mindset – and I really encourage you to do the same, and see how much of a difference it makes when you feed your mind and body with POSITIVE comments on a regular basis, instead of criticism!